Rising from ashes: A year beyond abuse allegations, IHOPKC victims unite to heal
Several of Bickle's alleged victims, members of online communities, others, come together; victim advocates announce nonprofit launch to help all religious abuse
“There are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes.”- August Strindberg (Author)
One year after the public October 2023 headlines which reported the sexual abuse allegations against Mike Bickle, founder of the International House of Prayer (IHOPKC), some members of one grassroots support group announced the upcoming launch of a nonprofit entity, which will exist to support and advocate survivors of any type of religious abuse.
While the horrifying accusations revealed in Jane Doe’s detailed story in the Kansas City Star, and later in The Roys Report, as pictures of Bickle’s personality were revealed via his emails to Doe’s husband, these revelations of the core of IHOPKC seemed to provide a gridline for the hundreds, if not thousands, who had wept on the sidelines—far away from the porch and the altar—to follow. While most were surprised it was Bickle in the headlines, slowly the blurry picture came into focus.
For years, former IHOPers began sounding the alarm about IHOPKC’s abusive structures—whether sexual in some cases, or spiritual or emotional in others, these voices have resounded through internet communities, TikTok videos, public blogs, and private conversations. And it was at a gathering hosted by one of these grassroots internet communities—“Recovering from IHOPKC”—or simply—RFI—where three of its members announced that The Rise & Reclaim Advocacy Group was birthed, growing, and ready to launch.
Gracia, (who uses only her first name in the media—which is pronounced like the word gracious, not the Spanish word for “thank you”—“gray-shuh”) along with two other former IHOPers, Jedidiah Hartley and Logan Spurgeon, announced the formation of their forthcoming nonprofit, which they hope to have fully in operation by January, Rise & Reclaim Advocacy Group. Gracia told Dr. Dénouement:
“We are an organization that strives to empower survivors of abuse in religious institutions by supporting victims, exposing misconduct, and advocating for meaningful reform that will promote accountability and safety. We envision a future where religious spaces prioritizes healing, integrity, and justice.
“In practicality, we will be connecting survivors with journalists, therapists, and/or lawyers, and helping them decide what path feels the most authentic to them in their journey to reclaim their stories. We are not trained professionals, just survivors seeking to connect other survivors with the professionals that can give them the care they need. We are looking for partners and volunteers as we get off our feet!”
The announcement for Rise & Reclaim came at a gathering of several former IHOPKC members, and while it was hosted by some administrators in the RFI Facebook group, others had been invited as well. Notably, several of the courageous survivors who had stood up to IHOPKC, Bickle, other leaders in the ministry—with great cost—joined the gathering, their presence reminding everyone that it is never too late to speak out.
Celebrating community, healing—not death and demise
The Oct. 26 RFI and friends gathering included reunions of old friends, first-time meetings of new ones, and was strategically timed; however, to deem it nothing more than a dark party that commemorated “downfall” or “demise,” would be a gross misrepresentation of reality. These attendees came not to embrace the demise, but to rebirth hope that previously seemed burned to ashes.
And if there was one attendee who can testify to that rebirth of hope, it is Tammy Woods.
For Woods, whose story detailing Bickle’s alleged clergy sex abuse beginning almost immediately after she turned 14, the evening was like seeing old friends, though she was meeting some of them for the first time. She tells Dr. Dénouement:
“It’d been five years since I set foot in Kansas City. I hopped on a train and crossed time zones to hug the necks of old friends and new friends alike, as together we marked an unfathomable milestone.
“Saturday I traversed the room of mostly strangers, making introductions, listening to the stories and processing the diverse journeys; all of which had brought us together in that moment.
“Was it toxic? No. Authentic? Yes. Angry? No. Hope-filled? Yes. I experienced a whisper of beauty rising from ashes and good course correcting what was intended for evil. I sat among the wounded and raised a glass (and silent prayer) for light, truth and justice to prevail. “
Gracia is one of the founding members of RFI, and now one of the founding members of Rise & Reclaim, and of her words to those in attendance Saturday night, perhaps none seemed as relevant for many than when she said:
“We all just wanted someone to recognize our struggle and embrace us not despite our brokenness, but regardless of it. To say we are enough and not too much, all in the same breath. We all just wanted to feel seen, known, and feel like our stories mattered.”
-Gracia (addressing ex-IHOPKC gathering Oct. 26, 2024)
Every story matters because it’s your story
Gracia’s reflection on the reality of what we all sought when we tried to speak up rings true for many. You see, whatever the story, whatever the trauma, whatever the crime, the personal stories of abuses at IHOPKC, echoed not only in Kansas City, but throughout the very nations the mega-ministry claims it desires to serve. Instead, tragically, its reach often reveals itself as trauma, disillusionment, or despair. Instead of reaching the nations for Jesus, many report that the abuses they suffered distorted the love of Jesus into something that doesn’t resemble his likeness.
And while multiple people’s experiences are too vast to be generalized, a common thread exists, and it’s one that Dr. Dénouement herself shares: we all set out to find a community of people who loved Jesus, loved worship, loved prayer—and sought likeminded people pursuing that pure-hearted mission.
And make no mistake: our hearts were pure.
We were not the “super saints” we were told—in not so many words—we could be, but we came, leaving real incomes, leaving places of respect to be “doorkeepers in the house of God,” and “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, [we] press[ed] toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14).
And we found out the game was as rigged as a timeshare offer that promises if you “Buy Now! You can Book Christmas and New Year’s Weeks Guaranteed!” (Don’t buy that one either.)
For years now—as IHOPKC would say (but certainly not about the victims its ministry abused)—these voices crying in the wilderness of Facebook groups, TikToks, home groups, or wherever anyone would listen—prepared the way for those who would learn the IHOPKC realities much later:
IHOPKC was not the healthy spiritual community it seemed to be.
Bickle was not, in fact, the self-deprecating, goofy “dorky uncle” that people portrayed him to be.
The Prayer Room was not a friendly happy place, but one where people barely said hello, and a good deal of the “big name” leaders say in their reserved spots on Facebook or Twitter—as it was still called.
The culture of Bible-reading, devotedly praying, waiting-for-Jesus worshipers—while certainly true for many—was riddled with testimonies few would acknowledge until that moment dark October day
For years, and in some cases, decades, those wounded, were left wondering if anyone would believe the reality of dysfunction—let alone abuse and the alleged criminal acts—which took place while the “fire on the altar” burned.
Meanwhile, IHOPKC kept up appearances more than a socialite in her pearls traipsing through the cul-de-sac her family can’t afford because appearances are everything—and at IHOPKC, home of Double-Down Theology, which means the fire can never go out on the altar. Ever. In fact, its own web page says ( emphasis added):
“In the grace of God, this mission has spread across nations and continents, and will never, ever change until Jesus returns.” (Source)
Much like the egregious belittling of trauma put forth at the Washington, DC “A Million Women” Esther, Mordecai, et al. call, so, too, is trauma reduced to some scripted prayers and a hand on one’s belly.”
Then get busy, they’d say. Get back to work (for exactly zero pay most of the time) 50 hours a week. Bickle often said keeping young people busy kept them out of trouble… a phrase that certainly takes on new meaning in light of his own trouble.
Hurtling forward toward the past
The timing was a coincidence, but if it had reflected well on IHOPKC, surely it would have been dubbed “prophetic.”
The Heaven Bent Podcast episode with Gracia and former IHOPKC staffer Nancy Hester just happened to be released on the Monday after the public Bickle allegations broke. That episode served up a giant-sized, shrill exclamation mark right in the middle of a sentence; there was no avoiding the reality of what was happening: Pandora’s Box had been opened, and all the evils of the IHOPKC world were spilling out; the box could not be closed.
Simply titled “Gracia,” the podcast includes the former Bible school student’s account of being sexually assaulted, and the wearying years of injustice that followed, as her attempts at reporting the crime failed while she watched her alleged abuser thrive. Meanwhile, leaders she should have found trustworthy and rely on for spiritual counsel dissuaded her from reporting the assault—and even doubting it happened.
Hester and her husband Jim, were staff pastors at IHOPKC while Gracia was still there. Ultimately the Hesters were fired—or as fired as one can be for unpaid work—as they were unrelenting in their willingness to both listen to and advocate for Gracia, as well as others they encountered. Hester, a loving but fierce “mama bear”—in all the best ways—has never shed her Southern accent or her fight for truth—holds no punches as she describes her incredulity that as she and Jim asked IHOPKC leaders what the authorities have said when IHOPKC reported the assaults of Gracia and another person a couple years later, the response was that the authorities had not been notified.
-And the stories kept coming-
By now most people familiar with this disturbing scandal, perpetuated more than anything by the mega-ministry’s penchant for digging in its heels and doubling-down its decrees of some holy righteous baloney that doesn’t parallel the true holy righteousness of Jesus, also know that Jane Doe’s story broke open floodgates, but behind the gates a real flood broke through. There is no ark for this one—and no covering this nakedness either.
When the initial accusations came out in October 2023, Doe’s story gave everyone permission to speak up. Gracia’s story—with timing that was perfectly ideal—began to be heard again in light of the current climate. By the time The Whippersnapper had tried all his “crisis management”—which wasn’t—and declared it was time to “transition out of crisis mode”—Woods, TH, and others entered stage right. Later victims—now survivors—like Justin Werner—who filed a police report against Lawrence Lucky. Lucky, a former worship and youth leader at IHOPKC, was accused of horrific sexual abuse against Werner, but the ministry played it down and the current prosecutor cowered away.
Whether or not a system is equitable, a prosecutor has the backbone to fight for justice in a court of law, or those who speak up get doxed, attacked, and threatened online (or offline), at the end of every day, the fact remains that those who were left for dead have found hope that they may breathe again.
All of us who are former IHOPKC staff, students, interns, assistants had landed in different worlds by October 2023 when Jane Doe’s story broke. But in that moment, we were suddenly reunited in spirit.
No matter our experiences at IHOPKC, one thing was absolute: Doe’s story raised the stakes to a level of crisis that finally demanded addressing.
Or so we believed.
Stories of spiritual abuse, control, and manipulation. Stories which twisted and disjointed the reality of God as a Father, Jesus as his son and our Savior. Stories of the double-faced dichotomy of the lies and misrepresentation of scripture. Stories of justifications for violence, real or imagined. Stories of honoring authority to our own detriment. Stories of guilt and shame. When the word of God has been weaponized against you, rather than your spiritual leaders allowing you to use it as the sword of the Spirit of God it was designed to be (Heb. 4:12; Eph. 6:17), then you must rise and speak.
The myth of the phoenix, a bird that rises from the ashes left after the flames of fire appear to consume it, is steeped in religious symbolism, as well as traditional mythology. It seems particularly appropriate here.
A clichéd Christian with blinders on might posit that “all hell broke loose” that day in October 2023 when the back rooms and board rooms of IHOPKC came to light through the story of Jane Doe. But if Dr. Dénouement may, she would like to offer a counterposition and say that, in fact, all heaven may well have broken loose.
Whatever your story, whatever has been burned, the message to rise and reclaim has been strong in this thread of advocacy, and now is about to be a step stronger with an official Rise & Reclaim Advocacy Group. Gracia, Hartley, and Spurgeon welcome your engagement with the Facebook page, and upcoming website launch in anticipation of the formal nonprofit launching in just a couple of months.
Gracia’s speech included the following, which seems to encapsulate the hearts of those who are open to listening and loving these days—in Kansas City, or the nations of the world.
—Your story matters.
Even if someone else's plot seems thicker or voice is louder,
Your story matters.
There are a lot of really big, intense stories sitting at this table right now.
But there is no comparison in trauma.
No pain is too small.
No story is too lengthy.
Each of us have an entire world in our heads,
Filled with the stories we tell ourselves
Desperately trying to piece together the disappointments and pains of our lives,
both cosmic and micro in sizes,
into some kind of puzzle that makes sense,
That is meaningful in the context of the rest of our lives.
So if it makes you who you are today- it matters.
If it hurts you- it matters.
If it is your story, then it deserves to be heard
To the extent you want it told.
Because at the end of the day, it is YOUR story.
And telling it should be done in a capacity that heals. Rebuilds. Restores.
It’s yours.
And no one can ever take that away from you.
But I'd love to share in it with you.
Thank you for being a part of mine.
-Excerpt of Gracia’s speech, prior to announcement of Rise & Reclaim launch